A moral dilemma

Wow, this has bee a busy few days, hasn't it?

Well, today I come to talk about a moral dilemma: What should I do?

I'm not talking about a current no win situation regarding a significant other, or such other nonsense, no, what should I do for a living?

I want to be a lawyer, I want to take cases to court and defend my candidate, or prosecute someone else along those lines.

I, also, want to be a writer. I am currently working on a book and looking for a publisher to, well, publish it.

The problem is, in light of current findings, I can't do both. Both demand almost, if not all, of one's time, leaving none for the other, as I have hoped previously. The only reason I have found any time at all to write Siege is because I have some degree of focus and time during the week while at college to write it. But I know this will change in times to come, I know, for two simple reasons:

A). Graduate school

B). I know being a full time writer is a bad idea

What do I mean by B? Simple, all of your income now relies on things that have a very, very high chance of failure. And if your book tanks, well, you're shit out of luck. Thing is, I've never liked putting all my books in one basket, which is what (from my point of view) writing is, unless I'm amazingly popular, which, again, is seriously unlikely.

Would I like to get The Siege of Midgar published? Yeah, I would love to. Could I make a series out of it? I think so, I'm not sure, but I think so. Could I become a full fledged because of it and the pitch I'm going to make to the Black Library in May? I don't know, I just don't know.

Do I have dreams of success through writing? Of course, without dreams, ambition, we'd get nowhere in life. I would love to one year have the 2010 of Graham McNeill, who this year got both the David Gemmell fantasy award for Time of Legends: Empire, The Legend of Sigmar and got on the New York times Best seller list for A Thousand Sons. Not to mention he had a kid in 2010, so we can all agree McNeill had the Best Year Evar.

So, long story short, I don't know what I'm going to do. Both have their ups and downs, both are appealing and both have things that make me hesitant about doing them. Problem is I want to do them both, but can't.

I've considered writing to both McNeill and Abnett asking for their opinion, but I don't want to bother them because of a no-name college freshman having a life crisis.

In the end, I know it's my decision, and I know I don't have to make it now, but I know for the next few days I'm going to lose sleep over it. And coming from an insomniac, I need all the sleep I can get. Shit.

Cheers,
57